Young women picking marriage over careers

At age 6, young girls watch Disney movies in the hopes that one day they will find their Prince Charming. But for some college-age women, that day may not be far off.

At 22, Candy Crespo married the man of her dreams. But she did not abandon her career aspirations once she tied the knot. Crespo, a senior at SMU majoring in Corporate Communications and Public Affairs, plans to attend law school.

Crespo said her husband gives her full support, but "being a married college student has ups and downs."

When talking to her classmates about Spring Break, she said, " Well, I'm going to hang some new curtains and get some new lighting fixtures for the house."

According to Crespo, "They couldn't understand why I was so excited about getting these long awaited home improvements done, but I was thrilled about it."

Many women don't have husbands who support their career plans, as some men feel threatened by a successful woman. In response, an increasing number of women are tossing out their career plans in hopes of landing a man.

Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Maureen Dowd makes this the central point of her new book, "Are Men Necessary?" Dowd said, "The perfume of female power is a turnoff for men. It took women a few decades to realize that everything they were doing to advance themselves in the boardroom could be sabotaging their chances in the bedroom, that evolution was lagging behind equality."

For many men, the idea of a powerful woman makes them want to run. The media reinforces such ideas with stories that portray successful women as poor marital partners. In a Forbes.com article entitled, "Don't Marry Career Women," Michael Noer justifies such male insecurity.

"While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat and less likely to have children," he said.

An increasing number of women appear to be following this advice and have chosen to stay at home with the kids. This is a reversal of the feminist movement. For today's woman, equality apparently is no longer the main concern. Television, music, movies and magazines reinforce the idea that the modern woman wants to be a housewife, look good and please her man. In turn, the objectification of women continues.

The hit show "Desperate Housewives" offers some of the strongest evidence that home life has trumped the office for many of today's women. It follows the love life of five women and their continuing search for beauty and the perfect man. More and more real-world women want to be their own version of a "desperate housewife." Dowd argues that women today want to be like the robots in "The Stepford Wives." Instead of a career, Dowd writes, women dream of being rescued, "to flirt, to shop, to stay home and be taken care of. They shop for 'Stepford Fashions' - matching shoes and ladylike bags and the '50s-style satin, lace and chiffon party dresses featured in InStyle layouts - and spend their days at the gym trying for Wisteria Lane waistlines."

Movies and magazines are filled with tips on how to look "hot" for their man. Cosmopolitan is still one of the most successful magazines for women. March's cover featured stories such as: "The 'harmless' habit that turns guys off," "How long should you wait to sleep with a guy?" and "Sex shockers: Things he thinks about during the deed that you really, really need to know!" If these stories are any indication, women seem to be obsessed with pleasing their men.

A look at celebrities reveals the same trend toward getting married young: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson, and that's just to name a few. These are the celebrities splashed on the cover of tabloids because of their whirlwind marriages. But as many stories as there are about weddings, there are just as many about their divorces.

Some entertainment programs have acknowledged that an early marriage can lead to disaster. Recently, "Showbiz Tonight" interviewed experts who said, "Couples, not just the rich and famous, can dramatically cut the likelihood of divorce by waiting until 25 to marry. That's partially because during the early 20s, the brain literally is not equipped to make such life altering decisions."

Nevertheless, many young women believe that now is the right time to get married and start a new life. MTV's new reality show, "Engaged and Underage," suggests this might not be the right idea. The show follows young couples about to wed. They display stress about money, parents and age, but each couple goes through with their "I dos."

The trend toward early marriage for college-age women appears to be a recent one. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of women married when they were between 25 and 29 increased by 27 percent between 1970 and 1990. But since then, it appears that many women want a return to the '50s era when women married young and stayed at home.

In the 1960s, Gloria Steinem became one of the leaders of the feminist movement. Burning bras, wearing no makeup, protesting the inequality of the sexes and campaigning for equal pay were just some of the hallmarks of the women's movement. But Steinem says female college students today are radically different.

"I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children and a career," she said recently.

So why have women become obsessed with the idea of getting married? For many, it is money. Marrying a successful man will give women financial support so they won't have to worry about a career. According to a 2003 Federal Reserve Board study, "The average single woman's household income is only 59 percent of the average single man's household income." Many women are fearful that if they don't marry early, they will never marry.

It is easy to see why modern women feel they need to get married. No one wants to face economic hardship and loneliness. But throwing away an education and a future of success in order to please a man should be the first sign that the relationship is not going to work.