Chris Tolles
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My final bidding

My final bidding Here it is, my doting public. This very piece of work you’re now reading is the last installment of what has become a cross-cultural, grass-roots fixture in the lives of many Mu…

Here today, gone to hell

Here today, gone to hell Most of “this ever changing world which we live in” (Axel Rose)wants to make my life a living hell. And it, in no uncertain terms,is currently ahead by an amazing …

I bid a sweet good morrow

I bid a sweet good morrow Oh, fate! Oh vile, cruel and abominable fate! Wherefore hast thou stolen my college years away? Canst I be an undergraduate forever? I’m graduating, my duteous disciple…

Money well spent

Money well spent In his finite wisdom and shoot-from-the-hip bravado, the commander-in-chief of the world’s most high-tech, powerful and expensive army has requested a cool $75 billion of our ta…

A modest proposal

A modest proposal A few centuries ago, one of my favorite writers, Jonathan Swift, penned a mock essay entitled “A Modest Proposal,” in which he suggested an excellent way to solve the rap…

Made for each other

Made for each other You know what makes for compelling reality television? I’ll be happy to tell you, kids – soft core pornography. Yep, you read me right. Maybe a foot fetish film here, p…

American idol, British jerk

American idol, British jerk Nonsense fills our lives, my pups. And if there’s one thing on our planet that screams non sequitur, it’s Fox’s “American Idol.” If the Fox ne…