The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

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Glitter bombs away!

OPINIONglitter.jpg

Have you ever wanted to send your enemies a glitter bomb? Well now you can! For only $9.99, Shipyourenemiesglitter.com will mail your most detested enemy a glitter bomb that upon opening a letter, will shoot glitter all over their hair and clothes.

The website calls glitter “the herpes of the craft world,” which it used to torture your enemies with the frustration of glitter.

Some people say, “What’s the big deal?” Well, for those who have never experimented with glitter, don’t try it. Glitter is impossible to clean up; you’ll find random specks lying around for weeks.

If there’s someone unbearable that you know, don’t be shy, go ahead and send him or her a glitter bomb. A glitter bomb can be sent to anyone from a celebrity (Lindsey Lohan), to your least favorite politician (Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich).

Or maybe to that professor who wouldn’t bump your grade up by 0.01 points for you to get an A in your class, and now you hate her forever. Just kidding, don’t do that. Or do. All glitter bombers remain anonymous, so your professor wouldn’t know who it came from.

While I have the chance, let me say that I do not support glitter bombing your professors and I’m not liable if a professor receives one.

The website even suggests sending one to “that b**** Amy down the road who thinks it’s cool to invite you to High Tea but not provide any w***.” Oddly specific. You know there’s a story behind that.

Visit the website for more information on how to send glitter bombs. But be warned, the language and sass that pervades the website may not be suitable for children.

Intended as a small side project, glitter bomb envelopes have received an enormous influx of requests. On Product hunt, a website that allows visitor to discover new products, creator Matthew Carpenter cried, “Please stop buying this stupid product – I’m sick of dealing with it,” and sold it to an anonymous bidder for $85,000.

Carpenter will provide training to the new owner, a list of the backlogged orders, and a signature for a non-complete contract.

Whether the contract will be hidden in a glitter bomb remains uncertain.

In response to the popularity of Shipyourenemiesglitter.com, an American website, Dontshipyourfriendsglitter.com will send your friends an email for $9.99 or a postcard for $19.99 detailing that you were nice enough not to send them glitter.

Now that you know the creation of glitter bombs, do with that power what you will.

I’d like to apologize in advance for those who are attacked by a barrage of glitter.

Please don’t send me glitter bombs.

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