When ranked fifth in the nation for our Greek life on campus, the puritanical ideology of SMU saw this as a mark of shame on the second-tier Ivy League academic reputation we convey, instead of viewing this prestigious honor as a recruiting tool to attract strong fine individuals from around the United States. Outright, I must establish that I am for the defense of any protectorate measures for the preservation of Greek life on the SMU campus. My grievance is with the totalitarian nature exhibited by the national operation of fraternal organizations and institutionalized and enslaved role SMU student affairs asks these fraternities serve. Although I may disagree strongly with their specific organizing principles, I do not argue against any organization’s right to exist.

Although a former article of The Daily Campus may be vague on this issue, let there be no doubt that SMU Greek Activities, headed by one Ryan Williams, as well as Student Affairs Vice President Jim Caswell, had an eagerly supportive and helping hand in the removal of Beta Theta Pi as a campus fraternity. I need not mention what we have all read in the police reports of our fellow institutions of brotherhood charged with allegations of illicit drug violations, hazing and sexual assault, which only held the small consequences of broken bones, a coma, negative national media coverage and mental anguish, to name the obvious. Yet, somehow these institutions remain with the support of such an elite man as Dr. Caswell, whose actions I can only liken to the sins of a post-Confederate carpetbagger. Such an eager removal of a fraternity plagued with a debt of zero seems suspect to me, or perhaps all organizations, which do not monetarily benefit the campus, are subject to removal (a frightening thought).

One of the greatest deficiencies of American culture is that we as individuals are only too eager to passively accept the current infrastructure of an established society instead of challenging the complacent habits of bourgeois ethics. Perhaps ethics never found its fertility among us in any traditional sense, but for Ryan Williams or the Beta nationals to claim that Beta was not living up to its values, I find wholly pretentious. Beta nationals, alumni and SMU itself never offered themselves on any grounds for assistance, arbitration or appeal to the preservation of one of SMU’s most historic fraternities. Not even our most notorious alumni, Enron’s Jeffery Skilling, cared to revitalize, as reputation would have it, a fellow criminal organization.

Which brings us to Mr. Skilling himself, the star player on the independent royal stage of The Smartest Guys in the Room, a Mark Cuban-financed picture. Of course, if Mr. Skilling is indeed one of the smartest men in any room, it must be a very small room indeed, inhabited by underachieving fifth graders afflicted with downs syndrome. Now excuse me if I seem to be getting on any moral high ground here — my affiliation with Beta being more morally pusillanimous than taking three dollar bills from Jack Abramhoff. I find the moral lowlands much more inhabitable for my argument against Mr. Skilling: that those stolen pension funds of honest workers and the misplaced trust of the American investor could have been better manipulated by reinforcing the financially unstable and debt-free predicament of the very institution that taught him such ill-mannered self-promotion: Beta Theta Pi. I’ll even concede the judicial high ground to Mr. Skilling. His lawyers need not prove his innocence, but instead, make the case so complicated that the media can’t cover it and maintain their ratings in the same stroke. Has anyone seen the jury luck Mr. Skilling pulled? We might stand justified in investigating the stenographer for using disappearing ink as well. Look, I’m not trying to outflank Mr. Jeffery Skilling or in any way suggest that he’s a bad guy — it’s just that when you shake hands with the devil you expect to get something useful in return, and all that Beta has received in return for his spurious education is Mr. Skilling’s empty promises and guilty faces.

Enough bickering, Mr. Skilling; for that I apologize. Let’s get down to some even business (note: check Webster ‘E’ for equality, ‘B’ for business- wait- I thought they taught something like that at SMU. It’s OK sir; I skipped business ethics too). What I allege is that Mr. Skilling had the most to lose of any Beta alumni from the continuation of Beta’s corrosive reputation, as well as the Beta alumnus with really anything to gain from its removal. Who knows — maybe a grounds keeper or a general manager from the former Enron field will fall from heaven and into a jury box of peers when it’s time to answer these allegations. I think I’ll get closer to the truth by assuming his guilt rather than watching that charade of justice played out.

Perhaps, as the rumors inspired by its detractors suggest, the Beta house had become a virtual chimneystack of marijuana smoke, virulent drug abuse and alcoholism, but is this any reason to disband such a proud social experiment of unique radical individualism? Even if these obscene allegations could be proven true, was there not at least an indispensable reckless and irresponsible attitude among us worth observation for some social scientific study? In the words of Hunter S. Thomson, I feel the social experiment of Beta produced some of “God’s own prototypes- never considered for mass production; too weird to live and too rare to die.” I have always felt there was a fine line to be walked by all great men, a plateau between the abysses of fear and stupidity. Perhaps Beta has fallen off the latter end of metaphor, but I’ll take that risk rather than consent to the financial racketeering of the national Beta fraternity or the whimsical desires of Mr. Skilling’s will to innocence .

It’s a funny thing to be in the position of selling your own opinions; to tell the truth about anything is to glorify the weaknesses of yourself and your friends, but this must be had at any cost. In Beta’s absence, which fraternity will answer our neglected and misshapen call to arms to be that infamous black spot on the institutionalized SMU campus? Who will send forth its members to lose consciousness from drink and indulgence in their front lawns? Who will destroy furniture in their backyard, harass their neighbors and hit golf balls through the Pike house? We need to understand that this sort of atavistic and impulsive behavior is a demonstration of our fundamental free will. Surely it sounds dangerous coming from the Beta camp, but when compared to the compulsive actions of more “responsible” fraternities, I think it is in the ethical arena we really shine.

Even an objective voice would have to admit that the self-immolating motives that drive fraternity life were at least less prevalent in Beta than other such societies, and therefore the danger of us acting collectively rarely presented itself. It is not like we were taking mescaline and holding vague trials of the fire baptized. We never (but once), tried to start our own religion, endorsed cannibalism or enforced authoritarian rule on the underprivileged. Wait- we got kicked off for what? Marijuana! We got booted for two single violations on the same person over a drug that is less dangerous than children’s Tylenol? Even Mr. Skilling must be laughing over how easy it is to use money to enact such absurdities, or maybe he’s just getting high. Earth to Jeffrey — when you come down or get off, you can make that seven-fig. settlement check out to the author of this article; otherwise, it’s pistols at dawn. —kai-

Trevor Young is a senior English and philosophy major. He can be reached at [email protected].