Ask Nell in Spain
Q: Dear Nell,
I read your whole “Women are like cars” thing and have a question. Obviously most of us don’t have access to a Porsche or Ferrari. Are we all [weasels] out of luck?
– Still Go Kart Racing
A: Dear Go Kart,
Since word travels slow to the Canary Islands, I just recently found out about a few readers who are highly unpleased with my “What Women Really Want” commentary. First of all, to set the record straight, I did not mean to degrade women to material objects. There is a huge difference between a ‘commentary’, written in jest for its pure entertainment value, and an ‘article’, based on proven facts and statements. For the sake of those still out there left with some sort of sense of humour, I don’t mind answering your question. Of course most people don’t drive high dollar sports cars (well, maybe not outside of SMU). A key factor in all of this is the fact that you will enjoy your car for what it is and will love driving it. In a completely non-metaphorical manner, I know a lot of people (not just guys) who may not have Ferraris, but nonetheless love their cars and treat them very well. The point of all of this is that you enjoy what you have and appreciate it because you have it. From a girl’s point of view, think of it like shoe shopping. Sure a pair of black patent leather strappy Prada heels are great, but every girl has a pair of great, cheap black shoes that she wouldn’t trade for the world. Price tags aside, what you’re comfortable with is best and an expensive pair of heals may leave you with blisters for a long time…So back to the testosterone fountain … Are you out of luck? It takes a certain skill of driver (that many guys need years of experience to become) to drive race cars. If you’re driving go karts you’ve got a long way to go.
Q: Dear Nell,
I met a great girl at a party and gave her my phone number. We went out once or twice (casually), but she stopped returning my calls after a few weeks. When I just saw her out, she was happy to see me and acted like nothing had happened and asked me to call her. I’m so confused. Do I call her or will she just ignore me again?
– Really confused about women
A: Dear Really Confused,
Obviously I don’t know the girl or how she feels about you, but I would guess that she is not very interested. She is probably a really nice girl who wants to be friends with you and go out as friends, but thought that you were getting persistent. Sometimes people (guys and girls) will just be too nice to flat out tell someone they are not interested in them, so they are nice, but do not return calls, i.e. make an effort to reciprocate interest. In all honesty, don’t call her again. Trust me, if a girl is interested she will call you and definitely call you back. Sure people are busy and short on time, but don’t ever convince yourself that she doesn’t have enough time. It only takes five minutes to call someone and tell them you are busy, but want to see them soon. If you ever see her out, just tell her “call me if you want to hang out sometime” and forget about it. Situations like this are too petty to worry about in the scheme of things.
Q: Dear Nell,
I jokingly told my girlfriend one crazy fantasy that I have (it envolves multiples of people if you know what I mean) and she has been obsessing about how I don’t really like her and have other people on my mind. First of all, I was just kidding, but she doesn’t understand that! I’m to the point of breaking up with her over this. Am I the one to blame?
– Always “wrong”
A: Dear “Wrong”,
This whole situation is about context. Were you in the middle of something intimate telling her about how great it would be to be playing cowboys and Indians with Jaime Pressly? If your situation was similar, hell yeah you’re the one to blame. Girls get very uncomfortable thinking that they are being compared to someone else or that they are not good enough. If this is the case, your girlfriend is right in being upset and you deserve to spend your days alone at home with a picture…note…a picture of Jaime Pressly on the cover of a magazine. I’ll assume you’re not that naive and that you really did jokingly mention something at a random time. Again, girls hate the fact that you would fantasize about something not involving them. Of course we know that you read Playboy and page through Maxim every chance you get “bored”, and have your own little “what if” fantasies. Fact is, no girl wants to actually hear it. Explain to her that you were just kidding and you won’t share such fantasies in the future. Fantasies involving her are okay…might even appeal to her, but keep your dream about the Swedish bikini team and hot tub to yourself. If anything, you may be surprised and put in your place if you ask you girlfriend what she fantasizes about…it’s probably not about you and a pair of silk boxers.
