I knew the day would come, but I just tried to avoid thinkingabout it. Kind of like when you are eating tacos at three in themorning and you are about to throw down that third bean burrito,you know you will pay for it when you wake up — you just trynot to think about it. That is pretty much where I stand. Idon’t really want to write my final column, but like theTitanic, the end is inevitable.

I’m sorry if I get a little soft or emotional; I’msorry if I stray from the humorous side of life. Some things arejust better said straight forward. If what I have to say soundscheesy or bores you, put the paper down and go enjoy the day, butto those I’m thanking, I hope it all matters.

After days of debating in my mind, I have decided to wrap upthis bad boy simply by saying thanks.

It only took four years, but I finally met the prez. It mighthave come on the final night of my final day of class in my finalyear of college, but as the saying goes “better late thannever.” The big guy knows I have taken some shots at theuniversity, and I’m sure he knows he has been the subject infew of my wise cracks.

It didn’t matter.

Shaking his hand was like a culmination of all of the hard workI have put into this place. The brilliant opportunity is somethingI will consider one of my largest accomplishments these past years.Thank you Mr. Turner and the rest of the SMU big wigs for thestellar honor.

I hate writing. If I could make a talking newspaper, I would. Asevery editor of this paper knows, I don’t write in thecorrect style. I can’t spell. I don’t speak properEnglish, and I make up words. I’m probably the mostfrustrating person to deal with in the entire newsroom. But for thepast three years Judy Babb and the brilliant student staff haveallowed my thoughts to flow onto paper and have corrected my sillymistakes so that I don’t look like a total fool. To theeditors and staff that put in all the hours to turn this paper out— I say thanks.

I always wanted to be on TV. Thanks to Michele Houston andothers in the journalism department, my dream was turned into areality. It all came together after a few students jumped on thebandwagon and believed in my thought process. The risk that Prof.Houston took and the freedom she gave me cannot be explained. Theopportunity she created will have a lasting impact in my career andmy overall accomplishments. I called that department home for thesepast years and will call those folks friends forever.

Hey referee, open your eyes. I have been trying to do just thatfor the last four years. I can’t help it; I’m legallyblind in my right eye. Thanks to all of the intramural officialsthat have stuck up for me over the years. The job I called home formy entire college career has created everlasting friendships andmemories I will never forget. Thanks to Chris Hutton and everyonein the office for making my nights around the Hilltop a little moreenjoyable.

I briefly interrupt this column to take a quick intermission tothe restroom. Many of the witty thoughts I derive come straightfrom the porcelain throne. Hold tight, it might be a while … Ihad tacos last night.

You may have seen me on stage before, and not at MDS. I havesomehow found my way into numerous campus events only to grab holdof the mic and make a fool of myself. To everyone that has evertaken a risk by asking me to host an event, I would like to say,”What the heck were you thinking?” If my ADD had kickedin, all heck would have broken lose. But you took this risk, and Idid my best to deliver. Thanks to the different organizations forallowing me to be a small part of larger productions all in thename of a few good laughs.

I played competitive soccer my entire life … until Iarrived on the Hilltop. Head coach Schellas Hyndman sent me packingfaster than an unfaithful groom on a honeymoon. Coach could haveprobably kept me around on the roster as the 25th or 26th player.He could have demanded all of my free time and asked for a completecommitment to the team. I would have given every ounce of energy Ihad for that chance. Instead, he cut my ass and opened up a worldof opportunities around campus. Coach, thanks for the reality slapin the face and for proving there is life after soccer.

Gracias to all of my friends who have been at my side over theyears. Through all of the good times and even those rare bad times,my buddies have made it all possible. If I had the time and spaceto write and thank each of you personally, I would. I don’t.Just know that you have made these four years possible, and I loveyou all for that. I honestly believe that friends are thecornerstones to a comfort blanket. In my mind, being comfortable indaily adventures allows a person to make the most of life’sobstacles. Having friends around me constantly allowed me to workthrough each day and continue to challenge myself.

I’m so smart.

Not really.

I sure didn’t get any smarter between my last day of highschool and my last day of college. I sit around my house and try toconvince myself that I’m a more knowledgeable person after myfour years here. I just can’t do it.

I took a lot of great classes and had a lot of great professorsbut I didn’t learn a damn thing. College taught me valuablelife lessons and helped me grow and mature. Unfortunately, thecollege knowledge I paid for took a back seat to life. Thank you toeach professor that made the most of our scheduled class time andshared their insight, even if I missed the point.

To this student body, I owe you all. Thanks a ton to anybody outthere that sent me an e-mail, stopped me in the hallway or at thebar to say you liked what you read. Those little thoughts, nomatter how big or small, mean a lot to me.

All I have wanted to do all year is to make you smile. To knowthat a few of you out there got something out of what I write isamazing. With every column I wrote I always wondered how peoplewould respond or if they would respond at all?

The opportunity awaits for any student out there that hassomething to say and can do so in a respectable fashion. You justhave to want to get it done.

So I spent the entire year trying to “dumb-it-down,”— life that is.

Life’s antics are as simple as you make them. I justwanted to show how enjoyable each day can be when you work throughit with a smile.

I realize some of you never did understand where I was comingfrom. I know some of you didn’t like or agree with a singlething I wrote.

I’m sorry some of you take life so seriously. But weekafter week I came up to this computer and pounded out thought afterthought in hopes of a smile. I knew when I started the column, itwould have to end. Now is that time.

So after countless hours of pondering how to finish this lastone up, I reached a conclusion.

How do you end and article about talking with someone that couldtalk forever?

You just stop.

For questions, comments or goodbyes, send an e-mail to GuyBellaver at [email protected].