One of the most accurate and succinct statements I have ever read comes not from any holy book or great poet, but from a simple sign hung on the wall of the Jimmy John’s on Hillcrest.

How many of us have cruised in and out of this joint late at night or on a lazy afternoon to get our fill of “freaky fast” subs? But only the proud few have experienced the wisdom of the restaurant’s walls.

The statement is part of a list of musings on life attributed to a comedian whose name I cannot recall, but the words of this sandwich shop proverb are ingrained in my end-of-semester weary mind.

It reads, “The one thing that always has and always will prevent humanity from reaching its full potential can be summed up in one word: meetings.” Or something to that effect.

The only thing I can say is: genius. Pure and ineffable truth can found on the walls of a sandwich shop, almost beautiful enough to bring me to tears. Boy, am I tired of meetings.

I am not and have never been a slacker. I am a goal-oriented, success-driven individual who strives to get the job done right the first time. But lately all of that go-getting and success-driving has been a little tiring. As much as I hate to say it, I think I have officially reached the dreaded sophomore slump.

I love my classes and I love all of the organizations in which I am involved. I love them just like I individually love peanut butter and tuna fish. Unfortunately, it is the sickening combination of the two that tries my patience, which leads me back to the genius of the quote.

If I could just cut down on meetings, my life would be so much easier and less frustrating. I say this with the least bitterness possible, but only around 15 percent of group meetings I have ever attended have been truly necessary or have even reached points of profundity that merited the time and effort required by their attendance.

If you think I have gotten carried away, I beg you reconsider. What is the point of wasting our time when e-mail delegation can be equally effective?

Join me as I imagine the potential of this anti-meeting revolution. Imagine hoards of go-getting students and professionals abandoning boardrooms, offices and power lunches to flood the streets and demand change. Suits and ties abandoned left and right, PDAs smashed beneath the marches of the rabble and school planners torched in a celebratory bonfire, all to the tune of Louis Armstrong singing “What a Wonderful World.”

Perhaps such drastic measures are unnecessary, but progress can still be made. If you are leading a group and realize that there is nothing to share that cannot be covered in an e-mail, by all means, please release your subjects.

If nothing else, we must all have the courage to cancel.

Rebecca Quinn is a sophomore art history, Spanish and French triple major. She can be reached for comment at [email protected].